Concision: the key to IELTS 7 (5 of 8) // Let’s practise being concise

By | October 16, 2017

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Let’s Practice Being Concise (5 of 8)

Try making the following sentences more concise. The answers will be given and explained in the next post. 

1.

Possessing guns is a way to fight against the government which abuses its power and uses excessive authority to rule the citizens in an unfair way. [25 words]

2.

Singapore is one of the countries in the world which has capital punishment. [13 words]

3.

Because of the enforcement of capital punishment, it will be a deterrent to most of the people who are intending to commit a crime. [24 words]

4.

Only a small portion of the money reaches poor people. For example, in many African countries, only a very small amount of funds delivered actually reaches those in need. [29 words]

5.

This service could teach life skills. In addition to this, not only life skills, but also mental training can be learnt. [21 words]

Answers to Concision 4 of 8

1.

Although people buy guns from certified stores, they can still buy guns from illegal stores as well. [17 words]

… becomes …

Guns can always be purchased illegally. [6 words]

2.

Some countries, such as Taiwan, have applied this strategy, and some of the smokers in those countries have responded to the monetary pressure, and reduced their amount of smoking. [29 words]

… becomes …

Some countries, such as Taiwan, have successfully applied this strategy. [10 words]

3.

One reason for the massacre is depressed teenagers or people who have mental illness could buy firearms more easily. [19 words]

… becomes …

One reason for the massacre is the availability of guns. [10 words]

4.

Guns being misused is very commonly seen in our daily lives. [11 words]

… becomes …

Guns are often misused. [4 words]

5.

This could be useful in the event that burglars manage to break in and illegally enter the house, or home invaders manager to enter the house illegally. [27 words]

… becomes …

This could be useful in the event of burglary or home invasion. [12 words]

By the way, go to aisielts.com to get more information and resources to help you get that IELTS 7. 

Author: Andrew

Andrew Guilfoyle Cambridge CELTA, Cambridge DELTA, Cambridge CELTA teacher-trainer, M.Ed