Concision: the key to IELTS 7 (7 of 8) // Let’s practise being concise

By | October 19, 2017

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Let’s Practice Being Concise (7 of 8)

Try making the following sentences more concise. The answers will be given and explained in the next post.

1.

I think this is quite a good model, as well being a practical method to help people who are faced with this problem. [23 words]

2.

The diagram shows the process of making plastic bottles. These products are made from raw material. [16 words]

3.

The material is subject to a chemical reaction. This causes the reaction of the molecules. Then, due to this chemical effect the material becomes plastic granules. [26 words]

4.

The plastic interacts with the heating element, which supplies heat in order to melt the plastic into a liquid. [19 words]

Answers to Concision 6 of 8

1.

Adolescents may hesitate and be under unemployed situations for a long time. In this period of time, they do not have basic economic income. [24 words]

… becomes …

Adolescents may be unemployed, and without income. [7 words]

2.

People who smoke can be fined a very large amount of money in order to discourage them from this habit. [20 words]

… becomes …

People who smoke can be fined. [6 words]

[The part about being discouraged is obvious from the context].

3.

The government can raise the tax on cigarettes to, on the one hand, reduce the number of people who buy cigarettes, and on the other hand, it can increase the tax revenue they receive. [34 words]

… becomes …

The government can raise the tax on cigarettes to discourage smokers and increase its revenue. [15 words]

4.

Seeing these pictures, smokers may spend more time thinking about whether they should keep the smoking habit or whether it is better to stop it. [25 words]

… becomes …

Seeing those pictures, smokers may reconsider the merits of their habit. [11 words]

5.

Nicotine can transfer into a special substance which has the effect on the brain to reduce stress. [17 words]

… becomes …

Nicotine reduces stress. [3 words]

[IELTS essays are not science classes. We don’t need all the science explained.]

By the way, go to aisielts.com to get more information and resources to help you get that IELTS 7. 

Author: Andrew

Andrew Guilfoyle Cambridge CELTA, Cambridge DELTA, Cambridge CELTA teacher-trainer, M.Ed