Let’s Practice Being Concise (4 of 8)

By | May 7, 2017

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In the previous post, I quoted from my own IELTS Writing Task Two book (Page 33, at the bottom). This page compares the sentence …

When people try to park cars in cities, they usually find it difficult. [13 words]

with …

Parking cars in cities is usually difficult. [7 words]

and concludes …

This new sentence is much shorter, and makes the same point. That is, the sentence is concise, and concision is a sign of a good writer.

This rule should be your rule in IELTS Writing. If a sentence can make the same point in fewer words, WRITE THAT SENTENCES! You then have time to …

  • write more,
  • say more,
  • and achieve more of the task.

It’s time to practice.

Try making the following sentences more concise.

  1. The data is freely available for the general public to view, and provides a high accuracy for everyone who exploits its accessibility. [22 words]
  2. Guns can be used for defending not only the lives of the gun owners, but also those who are close to them. [22 words]
  3. Sometimes people fight with someone who is fighting against them, and they want to solve the problem quickly, so this would make them use a gun to threaten the opposing side. [31]
  4. Free infant care can offer a practical resolution which can alleviate the effects of this problem. [16 words]
  5. It is a very sad fact that ….  [7 words]
  6. … especially for people who make a living and reside in urban areas. [12 words]

Answers to Being Concise (3 of 8).

  1. Museums contribute significantly to society. [5 words; originally 11]
  2. Humans can live without art, but not food. [8 words; originally 11]
  3. It is public money. [4 words; originally 13]
  4. Some murderers have no choice [5 words; originally 14]
  5. There are many space science-fiction movies. [6 words; originally 14]
  6. … a married couple …. [3 words; originally 7]

Author: Andrew

Andrew Guilfoyle Cambridge CELTA, Cambridge DELTA, Cambridge CELTA teacher-trainer, M.Ed