In the previous post, I quoted from my own IELTS Writing Task Two book (Page 33, at the bottom). This page compares the sentence …
When people try to park cars in cities, they usually find it difficult. [13 words]
Parking cars in cities is usually difficult. [7 words]
and concludes …
This new sentence is much shorter, and makes the same point. That is, the sentence is concise, and concision is a sign of a good writer.
This rule should be your rule in IELTS Writing. If a sentence can make the same point in fewer words, WRITE THAT SENTENCES! You then have time to …
- write more,
- say more,
- and achieve more of the task.
It’s time to practice.
Try making the following sentences more concise.
- The data is freely available for the general public to view, and provides a high accuracy for everyone who exploits its accessibility. [22 words]
- Guns can be used for defending not only the lives of the gun owners, but also those who are close to them. [22 words]
- Sometimes people fight with someone who is fighting against them, and they want to solve the problem quickly, so this would make them use a gun to threaten the opposing side. 
- Free infant care can offer a practical resolution which can alleviate the effects of this problem. [16 words]
- It is a very sad fact that …. [7 words]
- … especially for people who make a living and reside in urban areas. [12 words]
Answers to Being Concise (3 of 8).
- Museums contribute significantly to society. [5 words; originally 11]
- Humans can live without art, but not food. [8 words; originally 11]
- It is public money. [4 words; originally 13]
- Some murderers have no choice [5 words; originally 14]
- There are many space science-fiction movies. [6 words; originally 14]
- … a married couple …. [3 words; originally 7]