Let’s Practice Being Concise (5 of 8)

By | May 8, 2017

In the previous post, I quoted from my own IELTS Writing Task Two book (Page 33, at the bottom). This page compares the sentence …

When people try to park cars in cities, they usually find it difficult. [13 words]

with …

Parking cars in cities is usually difficult. [7 words]

and concludes …

This new sentence is much shorter, and makes the same point. That is, the sentence is concise, and concision is a sign of a good writer.

This rule should be your rule in IELTS Writing. If a sentence can make the same point in fewer words, WRITE THAT SENTENCES! You then have time to …

  • write more,
  • say more,
  • and achieve more of the task.

It’s time to practice.

Try making the following sentences more concise.

  1. This problem has now spread to all the countries of the world. [12 words]
  2. This leads to a positive impact on both their school work and their school marks. [15 words]
  3. It also affects all the other people around who do not smoke. [12 words]
  4. With guns, people can commit suicide more easily without facing any obstacles which may prevent them from carrying out this act. [21 words]
  5. Scientists can perform some research based on space. [8 words]
  6. Women are now independent with the amount of money they can now earn. [13 words]

Answers to Being Concise (4 of 8).

  1. The data is accurate and freely available. [7 words; originally 22]
  2. Guns can be used for defense. [6 words; originally 22]
  3. Fights can be quickly solved with guns. [7 words; originally 31!]
  4. Free infant care would help. [5 words; originally 16]
  5. Sadly, … [1 words; originally 7]
  6. … especially for urban people [4 words; originally 12]

Author: Andrew

Andrew Guilfoyle Cambridge CELTA, Cambridge DELTA, Cambridge CELTA teacher-trainer, M.Ed