Logical Writing in IELTS Writing [again] (10 of 10)

By | October 6, 2017

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Logic (10 of 10)

One of the biggest problems in IELTS essays is a lack of logic. IELTS writing needs to be detailed and accurate, and you have to hit the target, dead centre, to get a high IELTS mark (hence the picture). So, let’s start thinking everyone.

Try to work out the logical problems with the following sentences. The answers will be given and explained in the next post.

  1. Water changes from vapour to liquid by the melting of the snow. This would help decrease the population of smoking.
  1. Adults smoke for other reasons. In addition to being addicted in their teens, they may suffer from stress.
  1. Smoking may be regarded as a relief from the stress of life.
  1. The world is more competitive than traditional generation.

Answers to Logic 9 of 10

Here are the answers to the previous post.

I will give the original illogical sentence, then my comments.

  1. Teenagers are willing to be the same.

I think this has happened before. We are willing to do thing we usually don’t do, or things people usually don’t like. Think about it. ‘I’m willing to clean the house, but can I finish writing this email first.’ Teenagers usually like being the same as others. Thus, the student should write,

‘Teenagers want to be the same.’

  1. The water goes through rivers.

Water doesn’t ‘go through’ rivers. The water is the river. Perhaps the student should write, ‘The water travels via the rivers.’

  1.  The diagram shows how water flows around the earth.

Actually, water doesn’t flow around the earth. It just goes in a cycle (in various states) around the land, sea, and sky.

  1. The heat from the sun makes the sea evaporate.

Does the whole sea evaporate? I don’t think so. The student should write,

‘The heat from the sun causes evaporation from the sea.’

  1.   Firstly, there is melting of the snow, which falls to the ground.

Hmmm. If the snow melts, how can it fall to the ground? Take out the comma, and use Present Perfect Tense. Then we could write,

‘Firstly, there is melting of the snow which has fallen to the ground.’

Or just sequence it more regularly.

‘The snow falls to the ground, then melts.’

Author: Andrew

Andrew Guilfoyle Cambridge CELTA, Cambridge DELTA, Cambridge CELTA teacher-trainer, M.Ed