Let’s do ‘Concision’ Again, Okay? (12 of 16)

trimming a hedge.jpg

Let’s do ‘Concision’ Again, Okay? (12 of 16)

Remember, you need to make your writing as trim, neat, and defined as that hedge in the picture shown above. That means doing some work, as that lady is the picture is doing, to think before you write, to cut away words and phrases that repeat, are unnecessary, or unclear.

We continue with concision practice, but again, instead of sentences, let’s try it with another entire paragraph! This problem is equally common among students.

I will give an example of an over-written paragraph. Try making it more concise. The answer will be given in the next post.

Overwritten Paragraph

However, in most cases, the innocent people do not have any interest in owning weapons. As a result, the right of gun possession will presumably open the door for those gun enthusiasts who only have the intention to make use of these devices to commit a crime. Therefore, a legalisation of gun ownership would not reduce the crime rate or the many misfortunes caused by a crime – in fact, it would do quite the opposite. It will almost certainly only worsen the case. [83 words]

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