Let’s do ‘Concision’ Again, Okay? (9 of 16)

trimming a hedge.jpg

Let’s do ‘Concision’ Again, Okay? (9 of 16)

We continue with concision practice, but again, instead of sentences, let’s try it with entire paragraphs! This problem is equally common among students.

What follows is an example of an over-written paragraph.

Overwritten Paragraph

First of all, nuclear energy produces much less carbon dioxide than the other types of power stations while it is operating. That is, nuclear energy can go much further than other energy sources to reduce air pollution-related health problems. Besides, since it does not emit greenhouse gas, so too does it not contribute to global warming. The reason why nuclear energy can reduce the emission of pollutants is nuclear fission generates power without the harmful byproducts that coal, oil, and natural gas emit. [83 words]

Your job is to try making it more concise. The answer will be given in the next post.

By the way, you can learn more about me at   www.aisielts.com  .