Let’s Practice Being Concise (6 of 8)


In the previous post, I quoted from my own IELTS Writing Task Two book (Page 33, at the bottom). This page compares the sentence …

When people try to park cars in cities, they usually find it difficult. [13 words]

with …

Parking cars in cities is usually difficult. [7 words]

and concludes …

This new sentence is much shorter, and makes the same point. That is, the sentence is concise, and concision is a sign of a good writer.

This rule should be your rule in IELTS Writing. If a sentence can make the same point in fewer words, WRITE THAT SENTENCES! You then have time to …

  • write more,
  • say more,
  • and achieve more of the task.

It’s time to practice.

Try making the following sentences more concise.

  1. Hospitals can provide better care to help people in society maintain a higher standard of health. [16 words]
  2. This helps them to deal with the threats originating from other countries. [12 words]
  3. The nicotine in cigarettes makes people become addicted to this habit. [11 words]
  4. People will think more carefully before buying a packet of cigarettes or smoking whenever they want. [16 words]
  5. Imagination inspires scientists to invent products which did not exist originally. [11 words]
  6. People can watch each others’ health to prevent a serious health problem. [12 words]

Answers to Being Concise (5 of 8).

  1. This problem is a global. [5 words; originally 12]
  2. This helps them at school. [5 words; originally 14] // This improves their learning at school. [6 words; originally 15]
  3. It also affects the surrounding non-smokers. [6 words; originally 12]
  4. With guns, people can commit suicide more easily. [8 words; originally 21]
  5. Scientists can research space. [4 words; originally 8]
  6. Women are now financially independent. [5 words; originally 13]