In the previous post, I quoted from my own IELTS Writing Task Two book (Page 33, at the bottom). This page compares the sentence …
When people try to park cars in cities, they usually find it difficult. [13 words]
Parking cars in cities is usually difficult. [7 words]
and concludes …
This new sentence is much shorter, and makes the same point. That is, the sentence is concise, and concision is a sign of a good writer.
This rule should be your rule in IELTS Writing. If a sentence can make the same point in fewer words, WRITE THAT SENTENCES! You then have time to …
- write more,
- say more,
- and achieve more of the task.
It’s time to practice.
Try making the following sentences more concise.
- The astronauts may bring back viruses which are harmful to human health when their missions are completed. [17 words]
- Capital punishment is a good deterrent to people, making their desire to commit a crime less strong. [17 words]
- Purchasing online is often a more economical option to choose merchandise. [11 words]
- [Examples of crime]. And that is the reason why judicial systems exist. [9 words]
- Creating a better living environment and making people have a better quality of life is the main difficulty. [18 words]
- It is an inevitable development that the technology will always change. [11 words]
Answers to Being Concise (6 of 8).
- Hospitals can provide better health care. [6 words; originally 16]
- This helps them to deal with foreign threats. [8 words; originally 11]
- The nicotine in cigarettes is addictive. [6 words; originally 11]
- People will think more carefully before smoking. [7 words; originally 16]
- Imagination inspires scientists to invent products. [7 words; originally 11]
- People can watch each others’ health. [6 words; originally 12]