Logical Writing in IELTS Writing [again] (6 of 10)


Logic (6 of 10)

One of the biggest problems in IELTS essays is a lack of logic. IELTS writing needs to be detailed and accurate, and you have to hit the target, dead centre, to get a high IELTS mark (hence the picture). So, let’s start thinking everyone.

Try to work out the logical problems with the following sentences. The answers will be given and explained in the next post.

  1. By deterring criminals, it would lower the crime rate.
  2. The necessity of smoking is a noticeable issue.
  3. As technology develops, computers are one of the effective inventions.
  4. According to the development of the internet, online shopping is very effective.
  5. With the constant progress of technology in the future, people …

Answers to Logic 5 of 10

Here are the answers to the previous post.

I will give the original illogical sentence, then my comments.

  1. The most apparent problem is the future care of the elderly.

An apparent problem would have to be right now, but the problem given is in the future. Uh oh; logic problem. Maybe we could right ..

            The biggest problem will be the future care of the elderly.

  1. There are many different genders in the world.

Actually, there are only two genders: male and female.

  1. Co-education outweighs single-gender school.

How can a system ‘outweigh’ a school? The student should write, ‘The advantages of … outweigh those of …..’.

  1. Surprisingly, the other four items are less than 10%.

What’s so surprising about four nameless items being a certain figure? If you are going to use ‘surprisingly’, we need specific names. And even if we had the names, would it be surprising? Check my IELTS Writing Task One book, p.15 & 19, for guidelines on ‘Natural Reactions’.

  1. Capital punishment deters people, especially those who want to commit crimes.

Actually, capital punishment deters only those who want to commit crimes. Just those people. Those who don’t want to commit crimes do not need to be deterred.

The ‘especially’ part needs to be re-written. Who does capital punishment especially deter? Maybe if we added ‘violent’ to ‘crimes’, but personally I don’t think capital punishment deters them, since it is a crime of passion.