In the previous post, I quoted from my own IELTS Writing Task Two book (Page 33, at the bottom). This page compares the sentence …
When people try to park cars in cities, they usually find it difficult. [13 words]
Parking cars in cities is usually difficult. [7 words]
and concludes …
This new sentence is much shorter, and makes the same point. That is, the sentence is concise, and concision is a sign of a good writer.
This rule should be your rule in IELTS Writing. If a sentence can make the same point in fewer words, WRITE THAT SENTENCES! You then have time to …
- write more,
- say more,
- and achieve more of the task.
It’s time to practice.
Try making the following sentences more concise.
- This problem has now spread to all the countries of the world. [12 words]
- This leads to a positive impact on both their school work and their school marks. [15 words]
- It also affects all the other people around who do not smoke. [12 words]
- With guns, people can commit suicide more easily without facing any obstacles which may prevent them from carrying out this act. [21 words]
- Scientists can perform some research based on space. [8 words]
- Women are now independent with the amount of money they can now earn. [13 words]
Answers to Being Concise (4 of 8).
- The data is accurate and freely available. [7 words; originally 22]
- Guns can be used for defense. [6 words; originally 22]
- Fights can be quickly solved with guns. [7 words; originally 31!]
- Free infant care would help. [5 words; originally 16]
- Sadly, … [1 words; originally 7]
- … especially for urban people [4 words; originally 12]